Breakthrough

Please forgive my terrible cropping...but their cuteness makes up for it!

Today was quite exhausting. I had my first and hopefully last exam I'll ever take on a Saturday. -_- The morning was spent waiting at the school health clinic because I had get my ankle checked before my trip this coming Wednesday. After I got back home...I just wanted do absolutely nothing...zzz. But after the clock hit 11 PM, I had a sudden urge to call up my gmas. I had not talked to them in a couple months...I called my 婆婆 first for two reasons: 1) to warm up my Chinese and 2) because I was too scared to use my Cantonese yet with my 嬤嬤. A couple months ago I thought if I was motivated enough, I'd really be able to dedicate myself to being uber fluent by the time I got back...but I guess not all things go as planned.

Anywho, I had a pretty fun conversation with my 婆婆. I told her a bit about my trip to 开平 which is where she was born and grew up but it didn't seem like she wanted to spend too much time talking about it. When I get back to the States I'm going to pry all our family history out of her. Taking courses at HKU about China's history and struggle has really piqued my interest of how my family's lives played out during Mao's Era and post-Maoist Era. Comparing academic books to real life accounts is fascinating. I can't wait to see my 婆婆. She asked me what the first things I want to eat (that she'll make) are when I get back home. After coming to Asia and being exposed to many local traditional snacks, I really want to have a taste of what my 婆婆 grew up eating, even if it's the simplest of things. I didn't know how to say it in Chinese...so I ended up just requesting what she always makes for me...饺子, 粽子, etc. She says I don't know the right season to order food. -_- Whatever, I live in America so I can have whatever I want even if it's out of season! Just kidding. Hopefully, I can request her to teach me how to make food from her home village.

After our conversation, I finally mustered up the courage to call my 嬤嬤. I really can't express how anxious and nervous I was to talk to her. I really feel like my Cantonese is such a shame...

This is what Mushu would say to me:



I am a disgrace...and so discouraged by the "progress" I've made in Hong Kong. I don't even think I got an A in my Cantonese class. Sigh. Anyways, I ended up just "YOLO-ing" it and saying whatever came out of my mouth and by the grace of God it made sense. Lol, I seriously held a full on conversation with my 嬤嬤. We talked a lot about Hong Kong and where she lived when my dad was growing up. She told me their address and although I'm pretty sure it was part of the reclamation in Kowloon, I'm going to visit the area to snap some shots before I leave. We tried to figure out where all the schools my dad had attended...haha it was pretty fun. I told her of all the places I've visited in Hong Kong. She was so surprised by how I knew all the places she mentioned. Many of the places I've gone to, she said she's never been. I told her about QMH and how I live on Hong Kong Island and she said she's lived in Hong Kong for more than 30 years and she had never set foot on HK Island. She said even taking the bus back then was really expensive...so she never took one. And at that moment...I was like...wow I take it like at least 2 or more times a day and not even give a second thought about it. She said I was so lucky to get to travel. At that point, I really couldn't hold the tears back. I am so lucky. Really lucky. Lucky because I don't deserve any of this. This opportunity wouldn't be mine had she not endured the hardships of living in Hong Kong and having faith to leave what she knew and go to the foreign land of 鬼佬. She said she left her friends, her brother. (Now that I think about it...I really wonder if she has friends (besides our family)...she always seems by herself) I asked her if she still had contact with them so I could visit them. She said they all left. I asked a bit too innocently: "Where did they go?" She said, "Heaven. I am old."

Gosh, I am really emotional right now. If this was back in the age of pen and paper, my writing would all be blotted out.

My 嬤嬤 sounded quite pleased with my Cantonese...lol. She said when I get back, we can talk even more. I don't think she'll ever know, but I've always understood everything she's said to me. Especially the times when she would say she was sad that I couldn't understand her.

I think the first thing I'll do with my 嬤嬤 when I get back is our usual routine: dim sum and then I will challenge her to a game of mah jong. Dim sum doesn't taste the same when it's not with my 嬤嬤. There's really no 心.

PS. I am getting closer to the conclusion of what finding my roots mean.