While packing for Hong Kong I came upon an old Moleskine I had used to journal my first official trip back to the motherland of Hong Kong. That trip was inspired by my Asian American studies course on China and the Pacific Rim. I was inspired to go back to where my dad grew up and to understand where he came from because it is an identity I also inherited. After the trip, the conviction to learn the language grew as the communication gap widen between me and my 嬤嬤 (my dad's mother). So here I am...about to begin a journey that does not really have a map laid out before me, so we'll see where this takes me!
Another thing I came upon while reading through my old journal was that the fact that I am traveling to Hong Kong has not hit me and something a long the lines of how every time I go on trips I never feel like I am actually in a whole different country until after the trip is over. So basically I never really fully enjoy and immerse myself in the experience. I never quite understood why I always went through the same cycle of getting super pumped up about the upcoming trip but once I am on the trip, it does not really hit me until I am back and I feel like it is quite a shame because I am not appreciating its worth in the present. Only this past summer during one of the leadership camps I was involved with at UC Irvine did I come to the realization of why this always happens.
So there's this strengths finder test we always do to find out our top 5 strengths and then hone those strengths but there's also a dark side/shadow side to our strengths that can work against us as well. My long time mentor and I were having a discussion about how the strengths we share in common can play out not in our favor. We both have "futuristic" strengths and came to the conclusion that we are always planning, planning for the future. We love the excitement of planning and the excitement for the event coming up to the actualization of the event. But once the event occurs, we cannot fully be present and in the moment because we are always looking past it and planning for the next big thing. So with this new found awareness, I really hope I can take advantage of this experience of study abroad and really living in a different culture and society. I guess this trip is different in that I am not just traveling for an extended period of time but I am actually living here. I am excited to see what God has in plan and how He'll be shaping and molding me throughout this time.
Here's a song that's been of my heart and on repeat during this summer's Hearts in Harmony music camp:
Yeah pacific rim!
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